Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Weird things I've done when tired

It's time for me to go to bed. I'm really tired, which got me to thinking about how bizarre my behaviour becomes when I'm exhausted.  I don't know if I'm the only one who understands this, but when I'm really tired I get all confused, and that place between sleep and awake melds into a massive jenga game of confusion.  I melt into semi consciousness then a noise or a thought can pull one of those blocks out and I'm bolt upright shouting about oven ready chickens or coal or Norway.

So I'm going to quickly tell you of a few things that happened to me when I was in that middle ground. 

SLEEP/WAKE LIMBO
  • In my last job I worked for a pension company. After another sleepless night with our then baby (Syd now 8) I went to work, but from the go get I was exhausted.  All I remember was a customer calling to discuss his pension.  I was that tired I couldn't really concentrate. He'd asked me a question, which I'd written down because I couldn't trust my pulpy baby mind to remember what he'd asked. I remember asking him to hold the line while I checked something (WHAT, WHAT ON EARTH WAS I CHECKING)....All I remember was sitting bolt upright and taking him off hold.....Imagine my surprise when I realised I'd had him on hold for 17 minutes.  That for me was an all time low. I'd had 17 minutes of quality sleep, he'd had 17 minutes of appalling hold music.

  • Many, many years ago, in my early days with a well known north eastern newspaper I'd been out the previous night and was obviously exhausted, and dare I say, a tad hungover (this was 1997). I was talking to a customer and could hear him speaking but couldn't make much sense of what he was saying. He must have asked me a question, I'd probably been half asleep so hadn't answered him, therefore he didn't just repeat his question, he shouted it.....'CAN YOU TELL ME WHY MY ADVERTISEMENT DIDN'T APPEAR IN THE PAPER'....so I gave him the most comprehensive answer I was capable of at that time. I said.....And to this day I remember saying this......all I'll say is it made sense to me at the time. I said 'You opened the door and you let them all in....YOU LET THEM ALL IN'.  The shouting brought me to my senses.  I wasn't surprised to realise he'd hung up on me.

  • Recently I was watching telly and reclined to level one (we have reclining sofas, level 1 just lifts your legs up, after that you can recline to fully laid out).  As I'm sure you'd already realised shortly after I found myself completely flat and apparently sound asleep.  During this blissful sleep I became aware of someone slapping my forehead. I came round enough to realise Joe was attempting to wake me up to ask me something.  I lifted my head which at the time was heavy like a massive bag of spanners, and spoke comprehensively in beautiful BBC English 'What is it my delightful son, do you wish to speak with me, how can I 'elp you' (I grunted).  I don't quite remember this, however apparently what happened is this.  I sat up and grinned. Joe passed the phone to me. My ex husband said 'hiya Jools' and I said 'HELLO, HELLO, IS THAT SOL, SOL, IS THAT SOL'  Then hung up.
I like Pro Plus and coffee these days. Very much.

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